“Are You Kidding Me?”

“Are you kidding me? I don’t have what you have to lead an organization.”

When Eunju Yi’s predecessor encouraged her to apply for the position of Executive Director of the London Arts Council, this was her immediate response. Despite years of experience, deep expertise in arts administration, and a demonstrated commitment to London’s cultural community, Yi’s first instinct was not confidence but disbelief. Looking back, however, this moment reveals far more than individual self-doubt. It exposes the structural conditions under which many women, particularly racialized women, come to question their own legitimacy as leaders.

Today, Eunju Yi is recognized as one of London’s leading arts administrators. Since arriving in Canada from South Korea in 2009, she has built a career grounded in artistic practice, education, cultural management, and community leadership. Throughout our conversation, however, it became clear that her leadership philosophy is not defined by overcoming imposter syndrome alone. Rather, it is grounded in purpose, continual learning, mentorship, and an unwavering commitment to leading with integrity, even in environments where her authority is routinely questioned.

Leadership Begins with Purpose

One of the most revealing moments in the interview comes long before Yi became Executive Director. After immigrating to Canada, she was offered the opportunity to pursue a career in banking. On paper it seemed like a stable and successful path. Yet during the interview she realized something was fundamentally wrong.

She recalls feeling that she was “lying to my core.” Working in a bank simply did not align with who she was or what she believed her work should accomplish. Instead, she returned to school to study arts management, determined to build a career that reflected her commitment to creativity, community, and cultural life. From the moment she first saw the London Arts Council, she knew it was where she wanted to contribute.

This story establishes an important foundation for understanding her leadership. Confidence did not emerge first. Purpose did. Yi’s commitment to the arts provided the motivation that sustained her long before she ever occupied a formal leadership position.

When Self-Doubt Is Structurally Produced

The phrase imposter syndrome has become commonplace in discussions of leadership. It is often presented as an internal psychological problem, a lack of confidence that individuals must overcome through resilience or positive thinking (Clance & Imes 1978). Increasingly, however, scholars argue that imposter syndrome is produced by organizational cultures and social structures that distribute authority and recognition unevenly (Gottlieb 2023; Bravata et al. 2020) Women, and particularly racialized women, often experience persistent self-doubt because they are repeatedly required to prove their legitimacy in ways that others are not.

Yi’s experience illustrates this dynamic powerfully.

When encouraged to apply for the Executive Director position, her immediate response was disbelief. She questioned whether she possessed the qualities necessary to lead an organization undergoing significant change. Reflecting on those early months, she explains:

I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? Why? I don’t have what you have to lead an organization.’ … I am a person of colour, I am an immigrant… Am I going to be able to do that?

Her doubts were not irrational. They reflected an environment in which her authority was continually tested.

As Yi describes, becoming the public face of the organization also meant becoming the target of constant scrutiny.

When I became the ED, I felt that a lot of individuals tried to test me as to whether I’m worthy…. The underlying messages about questioning my leadership ability were there.”

This testing dynamic leads to an awareness that one’s actions will be judged through gendered or racialized lenses. Under such conditions, self-doubt becomes a form of anticipatory risk management. Cokley et al. (2015) describe this phenomenon as gender stigma consciousness: an acute awareness of being judged more harshly or scrutinized more closely because of gender. Anticipating evaluation, women often pre-emptively question their own competence.

This is precisely what makes imposter syndrome structural rather than merely personal. Self-doubt is reinforced by repeated experiences of being questioned, underestimated, or treated as though one does not belong.

Intersectionality and the Emotional Labour of Leadership

Yi’s interview also illustrates how emotional labour intersects with race, gender, and immigration.

She explains that people frequently assume someone else in the room is the leader.

I am a person of colour. I have an accent. I am an immigrant… those create a kind of discriminatory disadvantage for me. I may have some kind of privilege as a leader… but at the same time I experience barriers… racism and oppression. There is always a slightly weird assumption that I may not be able to completely understand what they are talking about. Then they would rather talk to my colleague, who is white and has no accent… the questions will be addressed to my colleague rather than me, because they can’t see myself possibly as a leader.

This is not internal insecurity; it is misrecognition enacted in real time. It underscores argument that imposter syndrome is actively produced by inequitable systems and racialized expectations. Authority is redirected. Expertise is displaced. Legitimacy is withheld.

These moments require constant emotional management. Rather than reacting with frustration, Yi must respond professionally while simultaneously representing both herself and her organization.

Yet one of the most striking aspects of the interview is how she reframes these experiences.

She explains:

I have to continue to conduct myself professionally because what I can control is not that person…or those situations; what I can change is myself.

This insight becomes one of the defining features of her leadership philosophy.

Rather than internalizing prejudice, Yi gradually learns to separate her own sense of self from the biases of others. Leadership, in her account, is not about controlling every situation. It is about responding with integrity despite circumstances one cannot control.

Confidence Comes Through Experience

One of the strongest themes running throughout the interview is that confidence is not something leaders possess from the beginning. It develops through experience.

Yi laughs when she recalls preparing for meetings after becoming Executive Director.

I used to prepare like a week before… what am I going to say?… Nowadays, I don’t even do any of those things. I just go there… because I know my organization, the work we do and why we are doing it.

Her confidence did not emerge because imposter syndrome disappeared. It emerged because years of leading, solving problems, and understanding the organization gradually replaced uncertainty with expertise.

As she reflects,

The more challenges that you encounter, the more growth and development you experience. …I did go through a lot of challenges … but that gave me a lot of important learnings and lessons for me.

Leadership, then, is not the absence of self-doubt but the willingness to continue learning despite it. In fact, rather than distancing herself from her experiences of marginalization, Yi integrates them into her leadership philosophy.

These experiences have enhanced her own attentiveness to equity-seeking communities. Under her leadership, the London Arts Council undertook intentional work aligned with the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s Calls to Action, including the creation of an Indigenous-led arts service area. Importantly, Yi articulates this work not as charitable inclusion, but as recognition of sovereignty: “It’s not about us providing general equitable solutions… it’s about recognizing your sovereign nations.”

This distinction signals a sophisticated understanding of power. Equity is not assimilation into dominant structures; it is restructuring the relationships themselves. In this way, the same intersectional experiences that produced imposter feelings also cultivated justice-oriented leadership. Structural vulnerability becomes epistemic advantage through the capacity to see exclusions that others may overlook.

Mentorship and the Importance of Being Seen

Yi repeatedly returns to the importance of mentorship. Reflecting on her former Executive Director, she explains:

She believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself… she saw something in me, and she helped me to recognize what kind of leadership calling I have.

Her mentor described Yi as both “a leader of the wartime” and “a leader of the peacetime” because she is someone capable of calm stewardship and capable of navigating difficult moments strategically and thoughtfully. At the time, Yi did not understand what this meant. Only later, after assuming the role herself, did she recognize that her mentor had seen leadership qualities she had not yet recognized in herself.

This moment illustrates the profoundly relational nature of leadership development. Confidence is not simply built through individual effort. It is often cultivated by mentors who recognize potential before leaders are able to see it themselves.

Leading Through Technological Change

Yi’s reflections also speak directly to one of the defining leadership challenges of the present moment: technological change.

Rather than viewing artificial intelligence as either an opportunity or a threat, she approaches it with curiosity and critical reflection. Under her leadership, the London Arts Council developed one of the first AI guidelines among Canadian arts funding organizations. The goal was neither to prohibit AI nor to embrace it uncritically, but to ensure that technology supports rather than replaces human creativity.

As she explains, leaders today must remain open-minded while carefully evaluating both opportunities and risks.

Technology, she argues, should enhance creativity, improve access, and support artists, but it should never replace the fundamentally human qualities that give art its meaning.

Her approach reflects adaptive leadership rather than technological determinism. Effective leaders are not those who resist change, but those who thoughtfully guide organizations through uncertainty while remaining grounded in their core values.

Conclusion

Eunju Yi’s story demonstrates that imposter syndrome is not simply an individual psychological challenge. It is often produced by organizational cultures and social structures that require some leaders to continually prove their legitimacy while allowing others’ authority to go unquestioned. Her experiences reveal how gender, race, immigration status, and language intersect to shape the emotional labour of leadership.

Yet the interview is ultimately a story about much more than self-doubt.

It is a story about purpose, continual learning, mentorship, and integrity. Yi’s confidence did not emerge because uncertainty disappeared. It grew through experience, through mentors who believed in her before she believed in herself, and through a leadership philosophy grounded in the recognition that while she cannot control the assumptions of others, she can always control how she chooses to lead.

In an era of rapid technological change and increasing organizational complexity, Yi reminds us that sustainable leadership depends not upon perfection or certainty, but upon remaining true to one’s purpose, continuing to learn, and creating organizations where others, too, can come to believe in themselves.