The Confidence to Lead

As my mentor, Helen Cole, founder of the Jean Collective: A Women In Politics Initiative, provided countless opportunities to learn about civic leadership — from attending professional conferences to participating in public events and community conversations. One of those experiences involved a public panel that brought together women in politics and academics to discuss the barriers facing women's political participation. Watching her prepare speakers, encourage participants, and ensure that every voice was heard revealed something that became even clearer during our interview. Although Helen speaks candidly about harassment, polarization, and the challenges confronting women in public life, she spends surprisingly little time dwelling on those obstacles. Instead, her attention is directed toward a different question: how do we give women the confidence to lead despite the obstacles?

Women have made significant gains in Canadian political representation over the past several decades, yet important barriers remain. Women continue to be underrepresented at every level of government, particularly in municipal politics, where they comprise only a minority of mayors and councillors across Canada. While traditional barriers such as caregiving responsibilities, financial constraints, and gender stereotypes continue to shape women's political participation, a newer challenge has emerged alongside them. Increasingly, women entering public life face harassment, intimidation, and abuse — particularly through social media — that seeks not simply to criticize their ideas but to discourage their participation altogether.

Helen Cole has spent more than four decades in municipal public administration, nonprofit leadership, and civic advocacy. Throughout that career she has witnessed both the persistence of longstanding gendered barriers and the emergence of new ones. Yet what stands out most in our conversation is not the hostility she describes, but the remarkable emphasis she places on confidence, purpose, and mentorship. For Cole, the central challenge facing women in civic leadership is not merely surviving harassment but ensuring that capable women continue to believe they belong in public life despite it.

Learning Confidence

When asked about her leadership journey, Cole begins in an unexpected place — not with accomplishment, but with self-doubt.

I grew up without any belief in myself. I married very young and thought that my husband was my saviour. I felt so fortunate to be married because I didn't think I was capable of achieving. So, I had my children, and then I decided to go to school.

Took some classes; I didn't realize it at the time, but I was already exhibiting signs of leadership because I became the president of my children's home and school.

This feeling of self-doubt is not uncommon among women. Women frequently underestimate their own abilities and are less likely than men to seek leadership positions unless encouraged to do so. Rather than reflecting differences in competence, this gap is shaped by social expectations, unequal opportunities, and persistent cultural messages about who belongs in positions of authority. Labelled the confidence gap, it refers to the cultural belief that women overall are less confident than men, which results in fewer career advancements and less ambitious goals. (Carlin et al. 2018).

Rather than viewing confidence as a fixed personal trait, Cole's experience suggests it develops through participation, responsibility, and encouragement. Organizing her children's Home and School Association, establishing the first Beaver Scout group in her community, and later becoming a municipal clerk provided opportunities to discover abilities she had never believed she possessed.

As she recalls,

I was hired as a municipal clerk for a tiny village near us…. I discovered I wasn't stupid. And I just went on fire. I just started learning everything I could as fast as I could. I became the first female chair of zone 1 of the Association of Municipal Clerks and Treasurers. The first.

Leadership, in Cole's account, is not the product of innate self-confidence but of participation. Confidence is cultivated through experience, responsibility, and the willingness to continue learning.

Harassment and the Cost of Public Leadership

While confidence can be developed, Cole believes it is increasingly threatened by the changing political environment. During her own time involved in municipal government and community advocacy, hostility certainly existed. She recalls abusive phone calls, intimidation by sitting councillors, and incidents that today would likely fall under workplace harassment legislation. Yet she sees contemporary politics as presenting a different challenge.

I am also seeing an ever-increasing issue with keyboard warriors on social media. Because you're behind your computer, and you feel like you can say anything you want. There's a lack of respect for all people. There is a rudeness that seems to have become more apparent since the pandemic.

Unlike policy disagreement or democratic debate, much of this harassment is deeply personal. Women are criticized for their appearance, age, family responsibilities, or perceived legitimacy rather than their ideas or decisions. As Cole explains,

Let's use this as an example. “Oh, look at that dress she's wearing. What was she thinking?” “Who are you, you fat woman, to think that you can lead us.” I’m being deliberately cruel because this is the kind of thing that happens. The abuse that is happening, both online, in person, has women saying, “I don't need to take that s*#t.” And so, they are leaving.

Research on gender-based violence in politics reaches similar conclusions (Raney and Collier 2024; Bardall and Tenove 2024; Wagner 2022; Wagner and Young 2024). Online abuse is not simply unpleasant behaviour; it functions as a mechanism of democratic exclusion. By making public life more emotionally costly for women than for men, harassment discourages qualified candidates from entering politics and contributes to the departure of experienced leaders. The most significant consequence of harassment, therefore, is not simply the harm inflicted on individual women but the erosion of democratic representation itself.

Building the Confidence to Lead

Rather than responding to hostility with withdrawal, Cole has devoted the later stages of her career to strengthening women's confidence to lead. Through Campaign School, the Middlesex Women's Leadership Conference, The Jean Collective, and related mentoring initiatives, she seeks to create supportive spaces where women can explore leadership before deciding whether to seek elected office.

She describes a turning point in this work:

In 2022, I came to the realization through conversation with a variety of women that women, not all, but some women were afraid of seeking anything to do with elected leadership. … I realized in order for a woman to be a leader, they need to feel supported and encouraged to take those steps.

This represents an important shift in thinking. Rather than asking why women are reluctant to run for office, Cole asks what communities can do to make leadership feel possible. The problem is no longer understood as a lack of ambition but as a lack of support. Confidence, in this view, is not simply an individual characteristic; it is something communities can actively cultivate through mentorship, encouragement, and collective learning.

So, that's where we are now. And I come to the conclusion that this is my mission for this stage in my life. My ultimate goal will always be to encourage more women to become elected officials.

Her work also recognizes that leadership extends beyond electoral success. Several women who participated in her programs ultimately chose different forms of leadership, while others entered municipal politics with greater confidence because someone had taken the time to believe in them first.

If along the way, I can inspire women in different ways, you know what? Then I've done my work. I'll give you an example. I met with a woman on Monday who attended my first campaign school, rough as it was. And what she told me was transformative. … She told me on Monday that it was the classes that encouraged her because she was considering politics, but the classes encouraged her to have courage and to step out and create [an expansion of her counselling business].

Knowing Your Why

Throughout the interview, Cole repeatedly returns to one simple principle: leaders must know why they are doing the work.

Asked how women can withstand online harassment, she offers advice that is both practical and deeply personal:

In my first session in campaign school it is, ‘what is your why?’… Because that's going to bring you back every time you're attacked. And then your values and your beliefs. … When you're personally attacked, you bring them back to your key messages, what you stand for, and what you are supporting.

We used to have a term long ago,… ‘defogging’, for how you deflect what's said to you. And it takes skill and learning. Know who you are, know what you believe in, and what you stand for. I come back to that all the time. Know who you are, know what you stand for, don't take it personally.

Purpose becomes an anchor during moments of criticism. When personal attacks inevitably occur, returning to one's values provides the resilience needed to continue leading. Rather than allowing hostility to define their public lives, women can ground themselves in the reasons they chose public service in the first place.

This philosophy reflects broader theories of authentic and purpose-driven leadership (DeFrank-Cole and Tan 2023), which emphasize that resilience emerges not from ignoring adversity but from remaining connected to deeply held values. Confidence, therefore, is not the absence of fear or criticism. It is the willingness to continue acting despite them.

Looking Forward

Despite the challenges she describes, Cole remains optimistic about the future of women's civic leadership. Her optimism is neither naïve nor dismissive of the realities women face. Instead, it rests upon decades of watching women discover capacities they did not initially believe they possessed.

When asked whether she remains hopeful, her response is immediate:

Of course, I am. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if I wasn't.

For Cole, the answer to harassment is not silence but solidarity. It is not asking women to become tougher but ensuring they are better supported. Through mentorship, encouragement, and organizations such as The Jean Collective, she continues to help women find the confidence to step forward.

Ultimately, Helen Cole reminds us that confidence is not something leaders simply possess. It is something that can be nurtured, strengthened, and shared. In an era of increasing political hostility, one of the most important acts of civic leadership may be helping others believe they belong in public life. Through mentoring, encouragement, and creating opportunities for women to lead, Cole demonstrates that democratic renewal begins long before anyone enters the council chamber.